I’m finding it a great paradox that the people who are loudest in their claims of being followers of Jesus are so opposed to state acknowledgement of marriage between two people who happen to be of the same biological sex.
A couple of years ago, my girlfriend asked me to marry her. It was very sudden and early in our relationship, and I had to take some time to think about it. And think about it I did – for about a month, all day, every day. I wanted to find out exactly what marriage meant to me, and what the difference really was between dating someone and being married to them.
One of the first things I came up against was the fact that our marriage wouldn’t be recognized by the state. Despite my not wanting her to, my girlfriend smoked, and I imagined the scenario of her in a hospital intensive-care unit someday, and my not being allowed to see her because we weren’t acknowledged as spouses. All the more reason to quit, I suppose! I imagined how we still wouldn’t receive the same tax breaks available to any wife-beater capable of talking his girlfriend into a quick visit to the Justice of the Peace, or any female social climber marrying a rich man for his money. And I thought about my girlfriend’s daughters – two wonderful little girls whom I love so much, and whose upbringing I was thrilled to be invited to participate in – and how my girlfriend’s ex-husband would always have more rights as a guardian than I could ever hope for. Luckily he’s a pretty nice guy, but what if he hadn’t been?
And then I considered the true meaning of marriage. To me, marriage is a commitment made by two people in the presence of their Higher Power, family, and peers. It’s the acknowledgement of a feeling of connection with each other (called Love) that transcends the flesh, and a willingness to honor that feeling throughout and beyond the boundaries of this Earthly life. It is, in the deepest sense of the word, a sacrament. It was this understanding that finally lead me to say Yes - Yes, I’ll observe this sacred rite with you, because my heart tells me to.
Now, you followers of Christ… can any of you tell me what is unholy or evil about this union? Would Jesus, that sweet man who held Love as his ideal to the death, disapprove? I would think that Christians would be thrilled that so many homosexual people want their matrimony made legal – it’s more people choosing to live their lives through the Holy Spirit, and asking the state to acknowledge the sanctity of that choice! How much more American Christian can you get?
Another quick point here - I know most of the people opposed to equal marriage rights are Republicans who want to keep government simple and uncomplicated. What you might not know is that disallowing same-sex marriage will create complications beyond your wildest dreams, when the transgendered, transsexual, and intersex people seek justice in their individual cases. And they will – they are a powerful new minority presence that is demanding we rethink our prejudices about gender. So if you’re still insistent on homosexuals not being allowed to marry legally, I suggest that you forfeit your own rights to visitation, tax breaks, and guardianship of your spouse’s children – it’ll be much simpler in the long run.
Or better yet, take a moment to reflect on what marriage really means to you. Could it be that we’re actually on the same page about this?
