Let's talk about pride and arrogance.
Arrogance is when I assume that the other person doesn't know what I know, or as much.
Arrogance is when I assume that the other person agrees with me about every point, or that my opinion is correct and/or obvious.
When someone I'm collaborating with asks me to do something differently and I assume their need is unimportant, or I take their request as an attack, that's probably arrogance.
Arrogance is the destructive expression of pride. Pride can be a positive emotion in small or temporary doses, to keep us striving, carry us through difficulty, or overcome shame. It feels good to acknowledge our achievements. When we stay stuck in pride, it begins to hurt the ones around us.
Arrogance is not meant. If I know I'm lording it over someone, it's more like aggression or cruelty, and that is another discussion. Arrogance is an unconscious state, and that's its greatest danger.
Arrogance is a disease found in the accomplished and the educated. Arrogance is not about achievement itself – it's about a psychological need in the achiever. Ironically, when you meet a true master of some discipline – someone who has been working at it for a long time, been tested, struggled, and overcome frustration, failure and even humiliation – that person is often quite humble and easy to talk to. A true master always wants to learn more, and knows that she knows nothing. Stumbling through the pitfalls of pride is part of the path of a student, and getting stuck in pride stifles one's ability to learn. A true student is constantly learning humility.
Arrogance seems to come from a need for “freedom”: freedom from. Freedom from having to work hard, freedom from having to do the work of considering another's opinion or reality, freedom from having to stretch outside of one's comfort zone. Arrogance is a disease found in democracies, where “liberty” is the common currency. Healthy democratic constitutions establish a balance of liberty and responsibility, and consider both the individual and the community.
If I think my mind is free from arrogance, it's probably out of arrogance.
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